Bad timing. I’ve been on bedrest now for almost 5 days with more pain than I have ever felt and nothing seems to be working. Pain meds, acupuncture, chiropractor, deep tissue massage, physical therapy, epidural injections, etc. I can’t stand up for more than 10 seconds without shooting pain from my back to my foot. I can’t sleep, can’t shower, can’t drive, can’t sit, can’t stand, can’t walk, can’t do much. Feel pretty bad - miserable. Not super inspiring.
On the upside, I’m watching a few movies on my new iPad, I get to work on some work stuff without distractions, grew some facial hair, and enough time alone to reflect on stuff. Figured I’d post some stuff that I’ve been thinking about.
Some of the random stuff that I’ve thought about:
1) Man, I run hard and don’t realize often how hard I press. Only when forced to slow down do I realize how hard I’ve been pressing. I’m definitely grateful for the physical strength that I do have and will be even more grateful for my health when I get back into shape.
2) It’s unreal if I ask the hospital how much a procedure costs, no one knows the answer. They mention I’ll get a bill in the mail. It is what it is. Strange.
3) Out of curiosity, I called around for an MRI and found an office that was willing to charge $1,299 for it if I have insurance, but if I wanted to pay cash they were willing to charge me $475 but only if I proved I didn’t have insurance.
4) I wouldn’t survive without my wife. Not sure how she handles me anyway, but she’s been an absolute hero through this week which I won’t forget.
5) I canceled a trip to SF this week and it was great to see one of our team members take the lead and attend all the meetings. It was his first solo trip on behalf of the company. I’m excited about the new level of responsibilities each of my team members take when I’m totally out of the office.
6) There are a couple of ways to respond to tough circumstances. It applies both to your personal and business outlook. When tough times come, you can respond with dejection, frustration, and fear. Or, you can respond with hope, new opportunities, and optimism. It’s a choice. I definitely wish I didn’t have this physical pain, but I feel that coming out of this, I’ll have stronger perspective, stronger relationships, and more optimism. For me, it comes down to a choice.
7) I’m looking forward to a bunch of stuff now. Fresh air, board meetings, work, exercise, sunshine, travel, friends. Can’t wait.
8 ) One of the things I’ve asked our team to do more of is recognition. We need to recognize people more, there are so many things to celebrate in life - hard work, imagination, teamwork, excellence. The more that I take a back seat and watch what our team is capable of doing and recognize it, the more I’m impressed with what they can accomplish. Are you recognizing your team? With more recognition, I believe everyone gets better results.
9) One thing I’ve also noticed while being out of the office and bedridden is the challenges that I’ve brought upon myself based on my leadership skills. How clear am I on the vision of the company? Is each team member given the right tools to succeed? Do they each know what success looks like? While I feel that we’re in a good place, there are several areas that I’ll need to focus on in case I get stuck again. Those areas have become clearer for me in the past few days.
10) Which leads me to my key point. As a leader, am I building an organization that can be self-sustaining without me. Have I built an organization that has a deep bench, pointed in a very strategic direction, and working as a team to reach a big goal? I want to build a great company that is capable of being great without me or at least me with a bad back.
11) Why is it that prescription meds don’t mix with alcohol? Oh well.
12) Goon is a pretty funny movie while watching on pain meds. Trust me.
Well, I’m super fortunate I’m alive with a great family and running a business I love with great colleagues. I don’t have all that much to complain about, wish me luck!